Think about the word commitment for a minute. What does it mean to you? For people in recovery it means committing to not use for the next minute, day, week, month, to year. It is being revisited at all times. Is it impossible to have more than one commitment in recovery? No, its not. However early in recovery it is wise to keep your serious commitment levels manageable beings your commitment to staying clean and sober will be a challenging one. Adding a new relationship commitment during the early stages of recovery could threaten your sobriety.
Relationships are tricky and when they are new, fresh, and exciting they can be the perfect motivation to stay clean. However, when the newness wears out, and the honeymoon is over, those relationships can put a serious strain on new sobriety.
So how does one know when it is safe to step into the dating arena when in recovery? Honestly, only you know when you are ready but a good rule of thumb is, if you were not already in a ongoing relationship prior to entering treatment, give yourself a good year in recovery before considering adding more to your plate.
When you do step out into the dating arena, take things slow. Be honest with your recovery and if the person cares about you at all, they will be sincere in their efforts to support you in your recovery and not expect you to enter into situations that could jeopardize it. If the person you are dating expects you to attend a function or enter into a situation that would be unhealthy for your recovery or is trigger heavy with the debate that you should be able to handle it, they are genuinely concerned about your sobriety and are only concerned about their own good time.
However, at the same time if you meet someone who you do click with, who is supportive, and you feel a strong connection with, do not be afraid to make a commitment if it gets to that level. Keep in mind, communication will be very important, to both of you. If you do not have a open communication base, or feel uncomfortable talking about your feelings and thoughts with this person, reconsider the relationship or talk to a therapist in regards to opening the lines of communication with your partner. Many who used drugs and alcohol have done so to hide feelings rather than express them. If you have difficulty with this, wait before entering any serious committed relationship until you are comfortable talking about not only the good feelings that come in a relationship, but the bad as well.
If you need help, are struggling with an addiction, or know of someone who is, please contact A Better Tomorrow Treatment Center today. We are here to help.
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Change is hard for most people, period. I've never had a problem with drugs but I imagine that trying to make a lot of changes at one time can be overwhelming.
ReplyDeleteCommitment is headed for obsolete. At least that's how it appears to me. The younger generation has no idea what that means.
ReplyDeleteYou have a good point there. Dealing with addiction recovery is a full time job for several months if not years. Getting involved in a new relationship requires dedicated time and energy that might be more than a recovering addict can give. Consider it carefully before jumping in.
ReplyDeleteI have trouble with commitments and I'm well aware of it. My commitment to quit drinking works well enough, but it's the only one I'm able to deal with. Maybe I'm just not the type of person to multi-task. I also think I have to do whatever it is that works for me.
ReplyDeleteSaying that relationships are tricky is a gross understatement. When you add a relationship to a recovery from drugs or alchohol it spells trouble in my book.
ReplyDelete