Realistic Relationship

Relationships can be like a drug. Have you heard the term serial dater? It is a person who will date someone for a few weeks during the happy go lucky feel good time when adrenaline is at a high and then as soon as the adrenaline rush starts to dim, boom – the relationship is ended and a new one begins. They do this to get the high feeling that new relationships bring. It is a form of addiction.

Realistically relationships have their ups and downs. It is the commitment to work through the bad that makes a relationship strong. Yes, in the beginning a relationship is fun and exciting full of first and new things and feelings. However, as a relationship ages, those feelings do dim. It may go through stages of highs and lows depending on what is going on around each individual. They can be painful and they can be exhilarating. A stable relation will have highs and low, with the highest percentage of it being just even toned where each partner is happy and comfortable with the other. You will bicker over laundry duties or other insignificant things, and argue over bigger things. You will work out duty details and through disagreements. There can be many things that bring your relationship to those exhilarating moments and just as many things that can bring it to a low. As long as your relationship isn’t like a roller-coaster out of control, you probably have a fairly healthy if not healthy relationship.

However, if it is full of constant battles that repeat regardless of makeup’s you are swimming in troubled waters. One of the biggest obstacles in recovery is placing unrealistic expectations on ones self, others and relationships. It is easy to become carried away with romantic fantasy of the future with a new relationship but when they do not pan out, the hurt hits and your recovery can be in jeopardy if you do not know how to work through it or have people to talk to during the difficult time. It is true relationships can add happiness to ones life, but in order for this to happen, you already have to be happy with where your life is at. You cannot expect a relationship to take you out of a slump. It may for a minute but only because it is new. Once the newness wears off, the slump will return. Relationships remain healthy because both parties are committed to keeping it healthy and happy. It is a dual effort and work.


If you need help, are struggling with an addiction, or know of someone who is, please contact A Better Tomorrow Treatment Center today. We are here to help.
http://www.abttc.net/
Phone: 800.971.1586
Fax: 800.401.8464
24 Hour Addiction HelpLine
Tel. (800) 396-9389 (7 days 24 hours)
e-mail: info@24houraddictionhelp.com
http://www.24houraddictionhelp.org/

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Staying in an Unhealthy Relationship in Treatment and Recovery.

Many people in treatment may find out that the person they were involved during their time of use was not healthy and will break off that relationship. That is a positive move in recovery. However, some, even knowing the relationship was not a healthy one may hang on to the relationship. Some do so because they fear they will not find another, others do thinking that after treatment the relationship will change. If the partner also used or is still currently using, they may think that their recovery will encourage the other to seek treatment and they will live happily ever after in recovery. In some cases this does happen, however, if they do not reach out while you are still in treatment for their own treatment, going back to that situation is only a huge danger zone to your recovery. It simply isn’t worth the risk. Some stay out of fear of being lonely. While in treatment, you should discuss these things with your therapist. Make sure, if you are staying in a relationship that could jeopardize your treatment that it is seriously worth the risk.

The dynamics of your relationship prior to recovery plays a huge role in what is or was a healthy relationship. Just because your partner was clean of drugs and alcohol abuse or addiction while you were the sole user doesn’t always mean it is a healthy relationship. The person is more than likely co-dependent and in the very least should see counseling to learn how to live with a person in recovery, visit their possible co-dependency, and deal with that.


If you need help, are struggling with an addiction, or know of someone who is, please contact A Better Tomorrow Treatment Center today. We are here to help.
http://www.abttc.net/
Phone: 800.971.1586
Fax: 800.401.8464
24 Hour Addiction HelpLine
Tel. (800) 396-9389 (7 days 24 hours)
e-mail: info@24houraddictionhelp.com
http://www.24houraddictionhelp.org/

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Commitment

Think about the word commitment for a minute. What does it mean to you? For people in recovery it means committing to not use for the next minute, day, week, month, to year. It is being revisited at all times. Is it impossible to have more than one commitment in recovery? No, its not. However early in recovery it is wise to keep your serious commitment levels manageable beings your commitment to staying clean and sober will be a challenging one. Adding a new relationship commitment during the early stages of recovery could threaten your sobriety.

Relationships are tricky and when they are new, fresh, and exciting they can be the perfect motivation to stay clean. However, when the newness wears out, and the honeymoon is over, those relationships can put a serious strain on new sobriety.

So how does one know when it is safe to step into the dating arena when in recovery? Honestly, only you know when you are ready but a good rule of thumb is, if you were not already in a ongoing relationship prior to entering treatment, give yourself a good year in recovery before considering adding more to your plate.

When you do step out into the dating arena, take things slow. Be honest with your recovery and if the person cares about you at all, they will be sincere in their efforts to support you in your recovery and not expect you to enter into situations that could jeopardize it. If the person you are dating expects you to attend a function or enter into a situation that would be unhealthy for your recovery or is trigger heavy with the debate that you should be able to handle it, they are genuinely concerned about your sobriety and are only concerned about their own good time.

However, at the same time if you meet someone who you do click with, who is supportive, and you feel a strong connection with, do not be afraid to make a commitment if it gets to that level. Keep in mind, communication will be very important, to both of you. If you do not have a open communication base, or feel uncomfortable talking about your feelings and thoughts with this person, reconsider the relationship or talk to a therapist in regards to opening the lines of communication with your partner. Many who used drugs and alcohol have done so to hide feelings rather than express them. If you have difficulty with this, wait before entering any serious committed relationship until you are comfortable talking about not only the good feelings that come in a relationship, but the bad as well.


If you need help, are struggling with an addiction, or know of someone who is, please contact A Better Tomorrow Treatment Center today. We are here to help.
http://www.abttc.net/
Phone: 800.971.1586
Fax: 800.401.8464
24 Hour Addiction HelpLine
Tel. (800) 396-9389 (7 days 24 hours)
e-mail: info@24houraddictionhelp.com
http://www.24houraddictionhelp.org/

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Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ABTomorrow
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Relationships After Addiction

You had an addiction in the past and worked hard to get out of its grip. You were successful and are now on the road to recovery. You are to be applauded for the job you’ve done so far. Recovery is an ongoing process. One of the things that can cause a setback is a personal relationship that occurs to soon in recovery.

Recovery is full of relationships and most of them are quite healthy. You most likely belong to a support group and have formed many relationships there. Those people understand and empathize with the pains and trials of recovery. Friendships and lasting bonds may be formed and they will help in the recovery process.

Aside from these peer support relationships you are working on family relationships also. You may even have professional relationships that form with your therapist or the addiction professionals that you are working with. All of these are beneficial to your recovery.

Many addicts of drugs and alcohol experience a lessening of sexual desires due to the effects of substance abuse. With addiction, all of your energy, thoughts and feelings are tied to the substance you are using. You don’t have the time or the inclination to care about another person. Now that you are no longer addicted, you are experiencing normal sexual desires and you are vulnerable to creating strong infatuations or romantic feelings that have long been dormant.

Romantic relationships or volatile sexual relationships are rarely helpful or beneficial to the recovering addict. The very nature of romance or sexual relationships turn your attention to others when it really needs to be focused on internal healing that is a part of your recovery. This is no way means you will never be able to have a personal relationship in the future. It merely means that you should be cautious about the timing of such a union. There is no time frame set in stone, it’s something you will have to consider and decide on your own. If you have thoughts to share about this process, please let us know.

If you know someone who is addicted to a substance, let them know that A Better Tomorrow can help them to recovery. You’ve been there, help them make this step.


If you need help, are struggling with an addiction, or know of someone who is, please contact A Better Tomorrow Treatment Center today. We are here to help.
http://www.abttc.net/
Phone: 800.971.1586
Fax: 800.401.8464
24 Hour Addiction HelpLine
Tel. (800) 396-9389 (7 days 24 hours)
e-mail: info@24houraddictionhelp.com
http://www.24houraddictionhelp.org/

Feel free to follow us on Facebook and Twitter too!
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ABTomorrow
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/ABTomorrow