Anytime you are dealing with someone who has an addiction, your life can quickly become turned upside down. You begin a ride of a lifetime, and not a pleasant one – a never ending emotional rollercoaster until the addict seeks treatment. Feelings of shame, anger, fear, sadness, frustration, helplessness, and despair are just some of the emotions you may experience when dealling with an addict.
On top of the emotional rollercoaster, people dealing with an addict often put their lives on the back burner allowing their own interest and activities to take back seat if they even attend to them at all. Their entire lives begin to revolve around the addict. Counselors who work with drug addicts and alcoholics strongly recommend that loved ones, family, and friends of addicts move on with their own lives by putting the focus back on themselves. The sooner loved ones realize they have no power over the person with the addiction, the sooner they can accept their limitations and take care of themselves. It is strongly suggested that those dealing with an addict seek out addiction support groups for friends and family members affected by substance abuse, such as Al-Anon, Nar-Anon, and Families Anonymous. They can be very helpful in getting your own life back. When you see others that have been in the same spot you are, and how they moved past it and can actually smile and have a good time gives you the strength and belief that you too can be happy once again.
Other things you can do to help manage your emotions are deep breathing. When you’re nervous or upset your brain isn’t getting enough oxygen. Deep breathing for a couple minutes sends more oxygen to the brain and can help you calm down Even doing normal household cleaning tasks such as vacuuming can help you get your focus back on you. Try running, work on your car, rearrange your home, gardening, mow the yard, whatever you can do to change your focus. For some, journaling, drawing, or painting is great outlets.
It can seem next to impossible to think about yourself when you are living on an emotional roller coaster with an addict but you can get your life back. It is the addict’s responsibility to take ownership of their addiction and behavior and not yours to own the emotional backlash.
If you need help, are struggling with an addiction, or know of someone who is, please contact A Better Tomorrow Treatment Center today. We are here to help.
http://www.abttc.net/
Phone: 800.971.1586
Fax: 800.401.8464
24 Hour Addiction HelpLine
Tel. (800) 396-9389 (7 days 24 hours)
e-mail: info@24houraddictionhelp.com
http://www.24houraddictionhelp.org/
Feel free to follow us on Facebook and Twitter too!
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ABTomorrow
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Showing posts with label Living with an Addict. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Living with an Addict. Show all posts
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
Living with an Addict
Addiction doesn’t just effect the addict, but everyone and everything in its path. Anyone who has ever lived with an addict or is living with an addict is quiet aware of this fact. Living with an addict is a painful experience that has long lasting consequences. Everything from ones emotional well being to financial well being can be destroyed and at the least, severely damaged. The best way to avoid this type of devastation is to change your living situation or encourage the addict to get help. More often than not, it is easier to move out of the situation then get the addict to accept the help they desperately need. They have to want it and no matter how much you want it, and all your good intentions in staying in the current situation, the addict will not seek the help needed until they hit their bottom. This does not mean your words go unheard, just that sometimes actions need to follow behind the words to make them really sink in.
Until you are ready to follow through with the ultimate ultimatum – leaving the addict- here are some tips to help you deal with a person who is addicted to drugs or alcohol.
Put you first. You have to take care of you. If you put all your efforts into the addict you will quickly become emotionally drained. You lose focus of who you are as a person and will not be able to separate “you” from the addiction.
Protect your finances. Seriously! Addiction has no conscious and a open wallet is fair game to an addict no matter how much you may want to believe they would never take from you what was not theirs. They will and although they may show remorse from time to time, remember, an addict learns quickly to become manipulative in order to get their next fix. Valuables can easily become missing. Draw the line the first time something is taken to feed the addicts addiction. If they will steal once from you, they will do it again. Use that behavior as a strong indicator that you need to separate yourself from the addict.
Stop enabling. Do not be their proxy for their responsibilities. Do not make excuses for their behavior or their inability to do what is required of them such as call into work for them. And by all means, if they get into legal trouble due to their addiction, do not bail them out of it. An addict needs to feel the consequences of their addiction. It may be that court involvement may be what it takes them to hit their bottom and get the help they need.
If the addict displays abusive behavior, draw the line and separate from the addict. Addiction is not a free pass for physical or emotional abuse. Stay away from the addict until they have sought help and have gained sobriety.
Join a support group. There is much to be learned from others who are experiencing the same thing as you. It can give you insight to your own behavior and role in your loved ones addiction and give you alternate ways in dealing with the addict.
If there are children involved in the relationship, always put their best welfare first. You may want to believe that the addict will stand a bigger chance of seeking help if they have a bigger support circle, but if the support circle does nothing but enable and does not have solid boundaries drawn, more often than not it only prolongs the addiction. Your children’s emotional and physical well being is far more important than an addict is.
If you need help, are struggling with an addiction, or know of someone who is, please contact A Better Tomorrow Treatment Center today. We are here to help.
http://www.abttc.net/
Phone: 800.971.1586
Fax: 800.401.8464
24 Hour Addiction HelpLine
Tel. (800) 396-9389 (7 days 24 hours)
e-mail: info@24houraddictionhelp.com
http://www.24houraddictionhelp.org/
Feel free to follow us on Facebook and Twitter too!
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ABTomorrow
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/ABTomorrow
Until you are ready to follow through with the ultimate ultimatum – leaving the addict- here are some tips to help you deal with a person who is addicted to drugs or alcohol.
Put you first. You have to take care of you. If you put all your efforts into the addict you will quickly become emotionally drained. You lose focus of who you are as a person and will not be able to separate “you” from the addiction.
Protect your finances. Seriously! Addiction has no conscious and a open wallet is fair game to an addict no matter how much you may want to believe they would never take from you what was not theirs. They will and although they may show remorse from time to time, remember, an addict learns quickly to become manipulative in order to get their next fix. Valuables can easily become missing. Draw the line the first time something is taken to feed the addicts addiction. If they will steal once from you, they will do it again. Use that behavior as a strong indicator that you need to separate yourself from the addict.
Stop enabling. Do not be their proxy for their responsibilities. Do not make excuses for their behavior or their inability to do what is required of them such as call into work for them. And by all means, if they get into legal trouble due to their addiction, do not bail them out of it. An addict needs to feel the consequences of their addiction. It may be that court involvement may be what it takes them to hit their bottom and get the help they need.
If the addict displays abusive behavior, draw the line and separate from the addict. Addiction is not a free pass for physical or emotional abuse. Stay away from the addict until they have sought help and have gained sobriety.
Join a support group. There is much to be learned from others who are experiencing the same thing as you. It can give you insight to your own behavior and role in your loved ones addiction and give you alternate ways in dealing with the addict.
If there are children involved in the relationship, always put their best welfare first. You may want to believe that the addict will stand a bigger chance of seeking help if they have a bigger support circle, but if the support circle does nothing but enable and does not have solid boundaries drawn, more often than not it only prolongs the addiction. Your children’s emotional and physical well being is far more important than an addict is.
If you need help, are struggling with an addiction, or know of someone who is, please contact A Better Tomorrow Treatment Center today. We are here to help.
http://www.abttc.net/
Phone: 800.971.1586
Fax: 800.401.8464
24 Hour Addiction HelpLine
Tel. (800) 396-9389 (7 days 24 hours)
e-mail: info@24houraddictionhelp.com
http://www.24houraddictionhelp.org/
Feel free to follow us on Facebook and Twitter too!
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ABTomorrow
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/ABTomorrow
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