Addiction doesn’t just effect the addict, but everyone and everything in its path. Anyone who has ever lived with an addict or is living with an addict is quiet aware of this fact. Living with an addict is a painful experience that has long lasting consequences. Everything from ones emotional well being to financial well being can be destroyed and at the least, severely damaged. The best way to avoid this type of devastation is to change your living situation or encourage the addict to get help. More often than not, it is easier to move out of the situation then get the addict to accept the help they desperately need. They have to want it and no matter how much you want it, and all your good intentions in staying in the current situation, the addict will not seek the help needed until they hit their bottom. This does not mean your words go unheard, just that sometimes actions need to follow behind the words to make them really sink in.
Until you are ready to follow through with the ultimate ultimatum – leaving the addict- here are some tips to help you deal with a person who is addicted to drugs or alcohol.
Put you first. You have to take care of you. If you put all your efforts into the addict you will quickly become emotionally drained. You lose focus of who you are as a person and will not be able to separate “you” from the addiction.
Protect your finances. Seriously! Addiction has no conscious and a open wallet is fair game to an addict no matter how much you may want to believe they would never take from you what was not theirs. They will and although they may show remorse from time to time, remember, an addict learns quickly to become manipulative in order to get their next fix. Valuables can easily become missing. Draw the line the first time something is taken to feed the addicts addiction. If they will steal once from you, they will do it again. Use that behavior as a strong indicator that you need to separate yourself from the addict.
Stop enabling. Do not be their proxy for their responsibilities. Do not make excuses for their behavior or their inability to do what is required of them such as call into work for them. And by all means, if they get into legal trouble due to their addiction, do not bail them out of it. An addict needs to feel the consequences of their addiction. It may be that court involvement may be what it takes them to hit their bottom and get the help they need.
If the addict displays abusive behavior, draw the line and separate from the addict. Addiction is not a free pass for physical or emotional abuse. Stay away from the addict until they have sought help and have gained sobriety.
Join a support group. There is much to be learned from others who are experiencing the same thing as you. It can give you insight to your own behavior and role in your loved ones addiction and give you alternate ways in dealing with the addict.
If there are children involved in the relationship, always put their best welfare first. You may want to believe that the addict will stand a bigger chance of seeking help if they have a bigger support circle, but if the support circle does nothing but enable and does not have solid boundaries drawn, more often than not it only prolongs the addiction. Your children’s emotional and physical well being is far more important than an addict is.
If you need help, are struggling with an addiction, or know of someone who is, please contact A Better Tomorrow Treatment Center today. We are here to help.
http://www.abttc.net/
Phone: 800.971.1586
Fax: 800.401.8464
24 Hour Addiction HelpLine
Tel. (800) 396-9389 (7 days 24 hours)
e-mail: info@24houraddictionhelp.com
http://www.24houraddictionhelp.org/
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I lived with my addicted husband for 3 years. I finally reached the point where I had to leave to save my sanity. It was my leaving that finally broke through to him. He checked himself into a treatment center and has been clean for almost 4 years. I've found the guy I married and we couldn't be happier.
ReplyDeleteLiving with an addict was an emotional roller coaster for me. I finally had to take the kids and leave. I still love him but he doesn't love himself enough to clean up his act. I don't want my kids growing up thinking it's OK to abuse drugs and everyone else around them.
ReplyDeleteI here people talking about the stress in their lives and I have to laugh. What's for supper? Who gets to choose the tv station this evening? I have to stop at the store before I get the kids. Give me a break. I just want to yell at them that if they want to know what real stress is like that they should try sharing their life with an addict that they love. Every day is chaotic, every night you lay in bed and wonder if they will come home and you worry that they won't because of an OD that nobody caught. It's a high speed merry-go-round that you can't get off of.
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