The road to recovery is a difficult one, for the one in recovery and those who support that person. It is hard enough without having the blame game going on. All the blame game does is shift responsibility for ones actions on to another. By doing so, one can never move forward successfully.
Common blaming that happens with addiction can involve a parent blaming a child for ruining their reputation, a child blaming the parents for being a bad influence, not being there for them, not caring for them, neglecting them, and a mess load of other dysfunctions, an addicts relapse do to the treatment center they attended, and on and on and on. Regardless of what the blame game centers around, it never works and it is never productive.
Treatment programs designed to help addicts recover from addictions are very clear that assigning blame has no place in the recovery regimen. It’s not about making the individual feel bad about the person they are now, how they got in this situation, what they may have done along the way that harmed themselves and others. On the contrary, the purpose of drug and alcohol treatment programs is to give the client the confidence and self-discipline to move forward in their lives free and clear of addiction.
Where blame game can really come into play is after the recovering addict returns home. It is not uncommon for family members or those that were close to the recovering addict during their addictive state to have ill feelings towards a lot of the actions the addict did prior to recovery. However, these same individuals play a huge role in the recovering addicts’ continued sobriety and by constantly monitoring, scolding, being critical or negative only drives the recovering addict in to feelings of being out of control making relapse much more likely.
It can be hard to avoid the blame game, especially when trust levels have been severely broken, and even more so if the support system has not received any counseling about addiction and how to deal with a family member with an addiction and recovery. Just as when we were children and peers requested, we did not lie about our actions because the out come would be far worse than the initial consequences, the same goes with addiction recovery. The important thing to remember is to not assign blame. For the addict – don’t assign blame to yourself for becoming an addict or to others for putting you into your current position. For the family and friends of the addict – do not assign blame to the addict for somehow ruining your life. Own up to your own individual actions and responsibilities whether you are an addict or part of an addict’s support system. The only truly supportive and reinforcing way of interacting is by steering clear of the blame game.
If you need help, are struggling with an addiction, or know of someone who is, please contact A Better Tomorrow Treatment Center today. We are here to help.
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The blame game is right, and it could have a sub title of 'excuses, excuses, excuses'. I'm a counselor, and believe me I could write a book and I bet it would be a best seller. No one seems to be willing and able to take responsibility for their own actions. It isn't only addicts either!
ReplyDeleteI think it's a human reaction that is inevitable, for a time anyway. It's always easier to blame someone else than to admit that we were weak and wrong. The good thing is, most people get past that, and can accept their shortcomings. Then, healing can begin.
ReplyDeleteAs with most things, there is plenty of blame to go around in addiction. The thing is, it doesn't do anyone any good. Blame boils down to excuses and I'm sorry to say, there is no excuse. Deal with, get over it, get on with recovery.
ReplyDeleteI guess the blaming is a stage that just about everyone passes through. Some make it last longer than others. No one benefits from it. It's almost laughable now, almost. I'm glad I got past it rather quickly.
ReplyDeleteSo much time and energy is wasted when you try to place blame for your addiction. It happened, and no matter what the reason you need to accept it and move on. Blame takes up precious time that could be spent in better ways.
ReplyDeleteBlame is like pouring sand in a rat hole. It doesn't get you anywhere and you can do it endlessly. Just about everyone has a tendancy to blame someone or something for their short comings.
ReplyDelete