The teen years are no picnic for any parent and possibly the most difficult time in rearing children. Add drugs to that combination and you can have disaster on your hands. When that drug use turns into addiction, family structures can fall apart and sometimes be destroyed. The goal of this article is to help families realize that they are not alone and that there is help and support available. There are valuable resources from prevention and to treatment.
The “just say no” anti drug effort, although in good intention, is not enough to stop teens from trying drugs. Sometimes, even open parental discussion isn’t enough. There are some teens that are going to experiment regardless of all the best efforts towards prevention, and a certain percentage of those kids will become addicted. This doesn’t mean stop talking to your kids about the dangers of drug use, it merely means that if your teen does “try” drugs or even becomes addicted, as long as you were making a valiant effort to prevent such action, you have done your job and now can only help direct your teen back on the right path.
If you suspect your teen is using drugs or alcohol, look for any self destructive behavior such as your teen coming home intoxicated or high; anorexic behaviors (excessive weight gain or loss); gambling; excessive computer of video game activity; staying out late with friends without being able to give valid location or names; dropping in school grades; irregular sleeping habits; violent out burst; redirecting fault; etc.
When seeing self destructive behavior or if you are fully aware that your teen is using drugs or alcohol it is time to take serious action. First off, be aware that the responsibility for the way your teen is acting belongs to them. Allow them to be accountable for their own actions, behaviors, and choices. This means that if they get in trouble with the law, it is time to let them deal with the consequences. Love them no matter what is going on in their life, but do not enable them by allowing these destructive behaviors to continue.
Keep in mind that the disease of addiction is a family disease. The alcoholic/ addict is obsessed with doing the drug, and the family is obsessed with the problem.
Some of the most effective ways of helping your teen get back on the right track are as follows:
Open communication: Keep the lines of communication open at all times and listen. By keeping open communication you will find that it is very helpful in putting together a plan of action that the entire family can agree on. We as parents are either part of the problem, or part of the solution. What is your position going to be? Look at the here and now, what can I do right now?
Live by example: If the parents are out partying it up, there is no teen that is dealing with drug or alcohol issues who will respond to any directive given by them positively.
Put the Past in the Past: Look at the here and now and what and where you can go from this point forward in helping your teen. By constantly bring up past issues will only anger the teen resulting in further issues. With addiction comes a lot of damage in several fashions; emotional, possible physical, material, financial, spiritual, etc. If you continue to focus on the past, the future will never get brighter.
Seek Help: By allowing your child to interact with a third party you will find that recovery often goes better, because often times the family is too emotionally close to the addict to be of any real help. Please realize that you are the parents and you are not responsible for the disease of addiction. Get help before it is too late. Remember that this disease does not discriminate against anyone or anything.
If you need help, are struggling with an addiction, or know of someone who is, please contact A Better Tomorrow Treatment Center today. We are here to help.
http://www.abttc.net/
Phone: 800.971.1586
Fax: 800.401.8464
24 Hour Addiction HelpLine
Tel. (800) 396-9389 (7 days 24 hours)
e-mail: info@24houraddictionhelp.com
http://www.24houraddictionhelp.org/
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I have had conversations with my 6 kids from the day they started school about alcohol, and drugs. I hung a picture of a healthy lung alongside a cancerous smokers lung and none of them smoke. One did for a while, but he quit. As far as I know none of them do drugs. Of the three who are old enough to drink, none of them do. Three down, three to go. I'm hoping my luck holds out.
ReplyDeleteLiving as an example to your children is every parents job. There is no greater calling than that. Talking to them about EVERYTHING is a parents second job. Love them, listen to them, talk to them and they will be okay.
ReplyDeleteI remember as a teen growing up in the 60's that drugs were everywhere and cheap enough for even the smallest allowances. I always felt that the teen years were difficult enough without adding the stress of drug use, even marijuana. Most of my friends used it and thought I was silly for resisting. I became there pet project with all of them trying to change my mind. I made it through, but some of them did not. Two of them died from an overdose during our senior year. What a waste, and for what? A fleeting high that was harder and harder to find.
ReplyDeleteWhen my kids were in grade school and middle school they had signs all over the place that said it was a drug free school zone. After that, when they got to high school, I guess that kind of stuff wasn't cool anymore. No more posters, no more rallys. It seems to me that high school is where they needed that the most.
ReplyDeleteI've raised 4 children through their teens and into their 20's. I'm sure all of them tried alcohol and drugs at some point but none of them ever got seriously hooked on them. I consider myself exceedingly fortunate. I wouldn't want to go through raising children again for all the money in the world.
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