Monday, March 8, 2010

Repairing Relationships After Addiction

Addictions wreck havoc on not only the addict but also everyone around them. Throughout the time the addict is actively using, relationships can be harmed if not destroyed. Abuse can occur and more often than not, trust is lost in the addict. Rebuilding those relationships after addiction can take time and not all relationships can be saved or brought back to where they were before addiction.

It is not hard to see why addiction compromises relationships. The behaviors that come with addiction – lying, stealing, lost of employment, financial despair, cheating, violence, self-induced injury, injury to others, breaking the law, etc. are the fuel that feeds the destruction. As the addict dwells deeper into their addiction, those around him/her are left to pick up that persons responsibilities. Already burden by the addicts’ behaviors they begin to feel extreme resentment, anger, fear, and distrust.

It may seem impossible to rebuild a relationship that has been so torn apart but it can be done. The process is slow. In the beginning, it is only natural that there is going to be a significant trust issues among many other hurt feelings. Both sides have got to equally want to rebuild the relationship, and in doing so, both sides (the addict and the family member, friend, significant other, etc) have to be wiling to do the work to get there. The addict’s work begins in treatment, and the affected parties work begins with support groups and or counseling.

During recovery, part of the recovery process is making amends to those the addict has harmed. The addict cannot expect that by simply apologizing you’re their past negative behaviors, the pain inflicted will simply dissipate. Both the addict and the other person in the relationship needs to consider what exactly they want and need out of the relationship, if anything at all. What are absolutes – e.g. honesty, faithfulness, etc. What might you be willing to make compromises on – e.g. financial restitution, etc.

Rebuilding the broken relationship is going to take hard work on both sides, but it can be repaired if both people involved are wanting the same thing.


If you need help, are struggling with an addiction, or know of someone who is, please contact A Better Tomorrow Treatment Center today. We are here to help.
http://www.abttc.net/
Phone: 800.971.1586
Fax: 800.401.8464
24 Hour Addiction HelpLine
Tel. (800) 396-9389 (7 days 24 hours)
e-mail: info@24houraddictionhelp.com
http://www.24houraddictionhelp.org/

Feel free to follow us on Facebook and Twitter too!
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ABTomorrow
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/ABTomorrow

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  1. Relationships that are damaged because of addiction can be repaired, but it is a lengthy and trying thing to achieve. The stronger the relationship was, the more damage it sustained, the harder it will be to set right. I know, because I lived it. The most important thing to remember is not to give up. If it's important enough to fix, stick with it until it's done.

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  2. I found out the hard way, that not all relationships can be saved. Even then, you have to be ready and willing to keep on going. You can mourn, but you can't give up.

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  3. If you have a friend or family member who is or was addicted, you know the damage it can cause to relationships. Trust is a fragile commodity. It takes time to build it and no time at all to destroy it. A relationship destroyed and rebuilt can actually be stronger than it was before. Don't be afraid to tackle it.

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  4. Relationships at the best of times take effort to sustain. An addict is not able to do that, no matter how important the person is to him. Remember that when the addict comes to you trying to make amends. It is one of the hardest parts of recovery.

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  5. Fixing a broken relationship is one of the most painful parts of the recovery process. It requires a baring of the soul even though you know it may be for nothing. I've been there and done that. I was able to reconnect with some, not with others.

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