Adults have a hard enough time dealing with a loved one battling an addiction. Can you imagine what a child of an addict goes through? Addiction take a terrible toll on the addict, as well as any loved ones associated with the addict with the hardest hit, children of an addict.
Children look up to their parents for protection and guidance from the moment they are born. The adults in the life of a child are their role models. Even when the examples that are being set are unhealthy, such as drug/alcohol abuse and addiction, children absorb these behaviors. The child is left to deal with how to process what they are seeing and feeling.
A parent who has a drug or alcohol problem is not in the position to care for a child in the manner they should. Sometimes, the addicted parent is not even aware of their parental shortcomings to their child or how their actions and behaviors affect the child. They may not see their child’s suffering.
Children cannot always express their feelings about their parent(s) addiction. They may not even fully understand it themselves especially younger children who have not see how other children live. Some children will internalize their negative feelings they have towards their addicted parent, where others may feel like they are the cause of the parent’s behavior leaving them feeling guilty and responsible. This is common in addicts children who are constantly bombarded with negative remarks from the addicted parent while high in regards to how having a child has ruined their life, limited them, or comments blaming the child for various things that have gone wrong in their life. Some children feel shame and/or become depressed. They don’t invite their friends over, and some stop participating in outside activities to tend to the addicted parent. Some children take on a perfectionist personality to try to make up for the shortcomings in their home life. Then, some children who act out for attention. Negative attention is better to them then no attention at all. Some only know negative attention, so when praised will feel uncomfortable and will resort to negative behaviors to feel what they think is normal. In addition, some children turn to drugs and/or alcohol to bury the pain of their parent’s addiction.
A child’s processing skills are not fully developed. When living with a parent with an addiction problem, a child is left confused and often times feeling unloved, unwanted, and are often times abused in more ways then just the mental and emotional abuse that comes with addiction. A child will do almost anything to get love and positive affection from their parent. When that parent is an addict, it puts a child in a high-risk situation. Many children have been used to get the drugs/alcohol for the addicted parent, sold for drugs or alcohol, and even pimped out to feed the parents addiction.
Often times grandparents or other family members step in when they know there is a problem in the home with drugs or alcohol and will remove the child. Other times child protection agencies step in when reports of possible neglect or abuse is in the home. And then other times, the child is left to deal with the parents addiction when no one is there to intervene. These are the children at the highest risks of repeating the cycle the parent has set for them; however, it does not exclude the rest. Depending on what type of support the child gets in dealing with their feelings, understanding their parents addiction, supportive home front, and amount of adequate counseling will help lessen the risk of the child growing up deeply scarred or to be an addict. The addiction of the parent will have a life long affect on the child, but how much support a child gets and how early will determine how deep the scars of addiction will be left behind.
If you need help, are struggling with an addiction, or know of someone who is, please contact A Better Tomorrow Treatment Center today. We are here to help.
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I know that my brother loves his kids, but he's an addict and can't care for them. Hell, he can't even take care of himself. I purposely moved close enough to keep an eye on the kids. His wife works 2 jobs to compensate for the fact that he can't work and the kids take care of themselves. They spend as much or more time at my house, but I really don't mind. They need at least a chance at a normal life.
ReplyDeleteIt's always the innocent that are in the most danger and in harms way. No one deserves a parent whose only thought is where the next score will come from. I'm sure this is a much bigger problem than any one can prove. I look into the eyes of my little ones and wonder how people can get to that point.
ReplyDeleteIt is my wish that kids who are unlucky enough to have substance abusive parents at least have family or friends who take the time to care for them, like Bev.
ReplyDeleteI didn't have anyone to take care of me when my alcoholic parents starting using me as a punching bag. I hit the road when I was 15 and never looked back. I worked during the day at whatever job I could get and went to school nights. I got my GED and went on to college. I made out okay, but I know there are a lot more who are stuck in that situation. If you know of any kids who are, lend them a hand and give them the moral support they need to make it through childhood.
ReplyDeleteParents can't abuse alcohol or drugs and expect to be competent parents. It just doesn't work that way. The kids suffer for it and the parents can't even see that there is a problem.
ReplyDeleteKids like these don't have much of a chance of escaping the after effects of living with parents who are addicts or alcoholics. Their most informative years are damaged. Too many of them slip through the cracks until they become statistics themselves.
ReplyDeleteChildren are no match for parents addicted to drugs or alcohol. They will be hurt. Someone needs to look out for their well being. Hopefully, a family member or friend will see to it. Too many of those children will end up in the same boat that they were raised in.
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